Sandra Gayle
Sandra Gayle is a native of Indianapolis, Indiana. She is currently working on her second novel.
"Daddy, Daddy give me a piggy back ride. Now lift me up in the air so I can spread my arms like wings, and you take me around the room. I'm an airplane! I'm flying; I'm flying. You are my daddy and I'm your precious little girl, right daddy? Daddy, daddy, daddy, don't go daddy."
"Natalie sweetheart wake up, wake up, everything's going to be okay. You've been having the same dream, or should I say nightmare for the past two months. What is going on in that head of yours? You keep saying we need to talk, but when I ask you what about, you always change the subject. We've been together long enough now, and I think it's time you put your trust in me just as I have put mines in you. Come on Natalie please stop crying. Things can’t be that bad. The two of us have great jobs, and we're doing pretty well for ourselves. I love you and I have no doubt that you love me to. So tell me what's tugging at your conscious?"
"Jerome I'm sorry, but there are certain things I'm just not ready to talk about yet. I know I said there are things you must know about me before we go any further, but I'm not sure how to handle this delicate issue, so how am I suppose to expect you to."
"Natalie if you're not a murderer running from the FBI, some kind of crook who has stolen someone else's identity, or have some kind of terminal illness, then I don't think there's nothing you can say that I won't be able to handle. You know you're my heart, don't you? Come on over here, and let me show you just how much I love you."
"Sorry big boy, but I've got to get ready for work, and so do you. Take a rain check Boo?"
I promised Jerome we would talk things over, and it was especially important that we did so real soon, because I was planning on going back home in two weeks. As Jerome was walking out the door he suggested we make time to talk after dinner on Friday night at his place. I agreed, but I told him right off that I would be sleeping in my own bed afterwards. I anticipated that at some point in our conversation it might get a little heavy, so I wanted to leave the door open just in case I needed to make a run for it. Besides I figured more than likely the mood for making love would be nonexistent anyway.
* * *
I met Jerome at Club Shades the night of my graduation. I had received my Associate Degree in Business Administration, and I was working in the medical field. I had already landed a part-time job as a medical administrative clerk, and upon graduating I was offered a full-time position in the Medical Claims Department at the Outpatient Medical Center. I was feeling really good about my accomplishments, so my best friend Lacole and I joined some of my other classmates in an all night celebration. We partied until 5:00 a.m., had breakfast, and I slept well into the afternoon. Well as I was sitting at the table I noticed Jerome on the dance floor, and he sure could move. He caught me looking at him, and flashed the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen my way. The next record was a slow jam, and Jerome walked over an introduced himself, and asked if he could have a dance. I hadn't been held that way in a long time, and it felt so good being in his arms. By the end of the record I knew I wanted to go home with him, and I did. It was one of the most pleasurable, intimate encounters I had ever experienced, and the beginning of a new sexual revolution for me. Jerome was exceptionally good in bed, and I couldn't seem to get enough of him. Even though I had a place to call my own, I began spending a lot of time at Jerome’s place. Sometimes I'd stay the entire weekend plus a couple of days into the beginning of the week, before returning to my place of residence, but by the time Friday had rolled back around I would have received several calls from Jerome begging me to come back. I especially enjoyed that, because it made me appear less desperate than I really was to have him around all the time. Jerome had a lot going for him self, but I must admit it was his lovemaking that drove me crazy.
Our relationship stayed on track for two unforgettable years, until the unforeseen happened and Jerome couldn't handle it. Jerome was a gentleman, and he didn't like anything in his life out of order. I had made a decision that would change not only our relationship, but would turn out to be a life altering experience for me as well. I knew it was going to be somewhat difficult for me to get my point across to Jerome why I had to go home, but I did manage to get through it. I really cared a lot about Jerome, but I had no intentions on marrying him. So I really don't know why I went through all the trouble to tell him my life story. I guess I figured it was time to deal with the issue openly, or maybe I just thought if I could hear myself talk about it that in some way it would make my returning home a lot easier. Once I got started I couldn't stop, and after all was said and done I realized it was just the beginning of my journey to finding peace within myself, and with those most important to me. As Jerome sat tentatively, I pondered where I'd start and how far I should go with it. Then all of a sudden with out much effort the words began to flow easily from my mouth.
My father was a good, loving, and caring man who worked hard to provide for his family. He was a proud man who took pride in his work, and he saw to it that mother and I didn't want for anything. Those are just a few of the kind words I most remember hearing from everyone who spoke about my father, Nathan John Giddins. Momma was his sweetheart and I was his little princess. I clearly remember my daddy giving me piggyback rides, using my body as an airplane, and singing around the house. Daddy was right there with me on my first day of school from preschool through fourth grade. Every year he would say to me that I was growing up too fast, and soon I would be a young lady, cheerleading, and thinking about boys. Then daddy would say to me "You'll always be my little princess, and I want you to know that you can always confide in me about not only the good things happening in your life, but also the troublesome ones as well." I loved my daddy so much, and I wouldn't dare do anything to disappoint him. Daddy had a very deep charismatic voice, and if you closed your eyes you could easily believe that you were having a conversation with Barry White. My daddy could wake the dead with his hearty laughter. Daddy use to tell the funniest jokes and stories, and by the time he had finished one, the two of us would be laughing so hard that happy tears would be running from our eyes. I enjoyed those moments we spent together. My mother's name is Savora Mae, and she was the disciplinary of the house, and for good reason, because there were times when she had to use a strong hand with me. Momma basically had to keep me in order all by herself, because daddy never raised his hand or voice at me. I would get away with just about anything if it were left up to daddy. He thought I couldn't do any wrong, but momma knew better. Daddy really didn't like her disciplining me, but I must admit I would give momma a hard time, because I was very much aware of how overly protective he was of me. Now don't get me wrong my momma loved me, but she was just dead set against a disobedient child.
