Teresa Mason Browning
The story of a black woman struggling to maintain her dignity while overcoming psychological effects of unresponsive parents, rape, physical abuse, and a broken marriage.
Teresa Mason Browning’s book reveals the dark irony in lives of many women in America today.
It’s hot! It’s sexy! Oops the secret is out!! A brand new novel that tells it all.
Teresa Mason Browning was born in Oklahoma and was raised in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan area. She now lives with her children in Charlotte, North Carolina and is working on her second novel.
"Ryan, I'm going to church this morning, - do you want to go?"
"Now Ronda, you know the answer to that without me saying anything."
"Ok." (Why does he have to be such an ass)? "Well, the children and I are going to church. See you in a
little bit. On this particular Sunday it just happens to be raining and these children normally show off in
the rain. I have no clue why but I was not in the mood for their behavior today. I know I need help. When
we got to church we were late as always, the band was playing 'When I get to heaven I 'm going to sing
and shout'. That hit home for me. For some reason I knew I wanted to change but I didn't know how. The
pastor was preaching about living together and having sex before marriage is a sin. We were committing
fornication. I felt so bad after service I couldn't shake what the pastor had talked about. I could hear the
children in the back of the car playing like they were shouting. All I could do was think. 'You need to
make a change in your life'. I got the children out of the car and was going towards the house when
Lawanda asked How was church. I told her it was great! I told her I would tell her all about it, later. I had
to go into the house and cook dinner. I went into the house with the sermon on my mind.
When I got in the house Ryan was not in his normal spot watching sports. I went to the kitchen to get
dinner started when Ryan came in and asked How was church today. I was so scared for some reason to
say how church was, but I had made a decision I wanted to live right. So, I just said, "Church was great
today. I told Ryan, the children didn't act up and I enjoyed it."
Ryan asked "What was the topic today- Money, Money, Money?"
I answered "No, as a matter fact, it was about living together having sex and not being married!!!" He
looked at me real funny. I knew I had hit a nerve but I knew I had to keep going. I said, "Ryan, we have
been together for five years, Are you going to marry me"?
He said, "I'm not marrying no bitch with three children by three different men."
I had given this brother five good years of my life where we shared everything from shopping to making
love. Ryan knew my past from front to end. I was very honest and open about my past. I cried myself to
sleep that night I knew a change was about to come and I didn't know how or when.
* * *
When I was sixteen, I was living in a foster home during the week. I would go to Grannies on the
weekend. My parents say they couldn't handle me. That was a lie. I got tired of all the bull that was going
on. They refused to let me live with Granny. One day I met this guy named Robert Austin he was really
nice, he had light green eyes. Whenever he would see me he would speak. I thought that was nice. I really
didn't know anyone except my foster family. They were great people to live with. They went to church,
loved the Lord and were honest people to deal with. Robert's family had a Christian background. His
mother was a pastor and his father was a wimp. It seem like she wore the pants in the family. I noticed
everyone was afraid to speak or stop to talk to them when there mother was around she would come out
and make the children come in. That didn't stop Robert from speaking. I asked him if he was scared of his
mother? He said no, but every time he got close to that fence she would start yelling tell him to come in
side. It was just as well because Granny did the same thing to me, so I was use to it. I didn't really think
he liked me. I thought he just did it so he could piss off his mother.
One Saturday I didn't get to go to Grannies. She was going out of town so I had to stay with my foster
family. I was glad because I wasn't feeling good anyway. Granny would have had me out in the blazing
sun picking weeds. I had a stomachache. At my foster family home I could get away with just doing my
daily chores and they would have been ok. My foster family was going to the market. They asked if I
want to go I told them no, I wasn't feeling good. I wanted to stay home. I really wanted to watch the
Maryland Terps beat the pants off of Georgia Tech. I loved sports and so did Robert. When we could, we
would have a debate on who was going to beat whom. The doorbell rang, at first I ignored it but
something said to answer it. It might be someone looking for my folks. When I opened the door, Robert
was standing there. I looked at him funny because I never saw him out of his yard.
"Hi, Robert, what are you doing here?"
"Is anyone home?" he asked.
"No." I said.
